Opens the door for a kind of universal politic that could pull cis people even cis men into LGBT politics in a way dependable than just an ally providing supportcharity which I think everyone has realised is a dodgy support as best The trans movement has the potential to liberate us all from the trappings of ender I think something can be done with that and nurturance culture is the key Turn This World Inside Out by Nora Samaran is a uick read that expands upon Samaran s widely read essay The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture The book s expansion on the topic is carried largely by Samaran s interviews with others I am No Capital Required guessing though I did not count the pages that of this book is interviews that Samaran did with various people than it is her own personal writing I believe this was a smart move by Samaran It is always a smart move to consult a wide range of people for a topic but with this book in particular I found Samaran s personal writings to be limited uite heavily by her personal experience I assume she is a white cisgender heterosexual woman If I am incorrect in assuming that identity it is because her personal writings center this kind of experienceThat is not to say that there is nothing to beained from the chapters written only by Samaran There is Programming in Swift great information about attachment theory the importance in addressing conflict in nuanced ways the seriousness ofaslighting as an abusive behavior how to make a WordPress Absolute Beginners Guide good apology and accept responsibility and others Samaran is also veryood at holding onto others humanity in her analyses She expresses information in a The Complete Guide To Associate And Affiliate Programs On The Net Turning Clicks Into Cash gentle and accessible way often lacking in discussions of topics within this book The book is well written efficiently organized and contains a ton of important information in a very small spaceWhere Samaran falls short is in including a intersectional approach in terms of her writing The way she discusses attachment styles is as if all cis men without a secure attachment are avoidant and all cis women without one are anxious This is not true as studies show that expressions of attachment styles are similar acrossenders though they affect Girls Like Us genders differently All interactions and relationships seem to center a heterosexual framework as well She does throw in a masculine people in place of the word men and women and femmes in place of women here and there in what I assume is an attempt to be inclusive However she lacks understanding of how masculinities function outside cis heterosexual white men and seems to misunderstand the definitions of and the problems with the phrase women and femmes It shows in some of her writingThe inclusion of interviews by trans women andor women of color such as Serena Bhandar Ruby Smith Diaz Aravinda Anada and others do well to combat this lack of insight This is what separates Samaran s book from other white hetero cis women s literature that is lacking in these areas Those books also often have something important to offer in terms of the author s personal experiences and so on The problem with this book lies in the fact that the interviews seem to have been done after the rest of the book was written and thus the learningained from the interviews is not implemented in her own essays The ordering of things is often essay interview essay interview but when we Affiliate Marketing Then and Now get to the essays the information within reverts back to the same singular perspectiveAnother issue I had with Samaran s personal essays was how she tackled the topic ofaslighting using her own experiences The beginning of the chapter which discusses how severe the effects of The Invisible Presence gaslighting can be is areat start The end of the chapter which exemplifies the harmful and extreme ways Clickbank Affiliate Marketing Profits Right Now gaslighting exists in community and abuse dynamics is an excellent end But in the center Samaran waters down the definition ofaslighting basically using it to mean this person disagreed with me and said it in a mean way This is specifically evident in her second example in which a male friend disagreed with her about seeing rent signs in her neighborhood and she labeled this Sticky Wisdom gaslighting because he said it like she was an idiot It is misuses like these of the term that make its existence taken less seriously and hides the fact that we all experience the world in different ways There is a reason that eye witness testimonies are extremely flawed Later in the book Samaran details some of the abuse her family endured with her father and I am not sure why she didn t draw on that for her examples ofaslighting Every misunderstanding expression of false information especially out of ignorance or irritated response is not abuse It can be problematic behavior or a stressful conflict that absolutely needs to be addressed without being treated as abuseBecause of these limitations analyses that should have been included such as conflicts within same Online Marketing gender romantic and other relationships white woman tears that are used to silence people of color the complex nature of trans peoples experiences withender vs how they are read in the world the complexities of different masculinities when they co occur with other marginalized identities the existence of masculine women and feminine men the experiences of sick andor disabled people with and so on Luckily the interviews do address many of these things beautifully which is why I still consider this to be a worthwhile read In conclusion my recommendation is to approach this book as a Spoiled great collection of interviews interspersed with the author talking about her own experiences This was also posted to my blog A really interesting exploration of what nurturance culture would look like a community that sees people as inherently interconnected and that pushes back against cancel culture How do we recognize harm while not endlessly pushing people out How do we do the work of creating and maintaining relationships centring those who are harmed while also asking those who have done harm to acknowledge and repair that harm I like the inclusion of dialogues with other people who bring in other viewpoints like trans perspectives on the discussion ofendered violence and poc perspectives on dismantling white supremacy in nurturance culture They re thought provoking essays but they re fairly accessible which I appreciate Probably my favourite part of the book was the discussion of Secure Anxious and Avoidant attachment styles in Chapter 1 I liked the metaphor of the chair for insecure attachment styles and how if it s broken under you before you may think hard about sitting down again so you need extra reassurance and comfort to The Business of Family Business get secureI found the description of dismissive avoidant attachment to be fairly enlightening and validating for my relationship with certain people in my life They may feel suffocated or trapped when peopleet too close and will unconsciously and involuntarily use deactivating strategies body language and facial expressions The idea that they re pushing you away rejecting and saying no with their body language preventing secure attachment and no you re not imagining it is huge I also uite enjoyed their description of nurturance and attunement and see its implications in consent Nurturance recognizes and responds appropriately in an alive moving dance to the other person s need for intimacy and need for space learning how to engage in nonverbal communication that comforts reassures and breathes skill
of attunement recognizing when someone wants to come close and when they attunement recognizing when someone wants to come close and when they space not only by asking but also by reading subtle nonverbal cues My highlighted parts Introduction Attachment theory teaches us that true autonomy relies on feeling securely connected to other human beings Current developments in the field of attachment science have recognized that bonded pairs such as couples or parents and children build bonds that physiologically shape their nervous systems Contrary to many Western conceptions of the self as disconnected and atomized operating in isolation using nothing but Healing Herbs Spices grit and determination it turns out that close knit connections to others are in large part how werow into our own fully expressed autonomous selves belonging in human and nonhuman communities it seems
to me is something like breathing in the invisible substance that sustains our life When me is something like breathing in the invisible substance that sustains our life When can recognize that fact we can turn our attention to the uality of the webs that contain and sustain us and row their health and well being which is the same thing as rowing our own we have relational responsibilities to one another regardless of our emotional closeness Harm whether in the form of violation or neglect is then understood as a harm to the integrity of those bonds or as a failure to meet relational responsibilities Where we are born into privilege we are charged with dismantling any myth of supremacyentitlement Where we were born into struggle we are charged with claiming our dignity joy and liberation adrienne maree brown Emergent Strategy Opposite of masculine rape culture is masculine nurturance culture men increasing their capacity to nurture and becoming wholeCompassion Shame and uilt―can move toward inverting cultures of dominance and systems of oppression When communities are able to recognize and speak up about systemic violence center the needs of those harmed and hold a circle of belonging that humanizes everyone they create a revolutionary foundation of. .
25 starsWriting wasn t profound enough imo to justify a book The main essay this book was based on wasn t that deep to me I found the rest of the book to be slightly unclear and maybe it would be impactful if I were a cishet man or someone who had never engaged w Transformation is deeply relational It s not I m oing to Binary Sound (Boston, go and receive enlightenment on top of a mountain by myself That s a colonizer s story of disconnection and self sufficiency Aravinda Ananda Cultivating Empathy and Shame Resilience in Turn This World Inside Out The Emergence of Nurturance Culture Thought provoking and useful for issues that do come up in community and in activist spaces The discussions were the best parts I only wish they could be on a panel toet to specific uestions I would have liked to see discussion on the stickier situations of transformation justice and addressing harm such as when all parties claim harm from the others harm happens within an interpersonal history of harm harm does not occur along clear structural dominancesubordination identities and how to address weaponization of harm language and transformational justice language among ourselves and how to Hidden (Otherworld Stories, gracefully disengage or change course when folks can t or won t engage with the justice framework As such this uick read is of a casual discussion among friendscomradescolleagues than a deep dive or how to manual Don t regret reading it didn t change my life originally posted on ArgotMagazinecomYou may have heard of Nora Samaran from her essay The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture which went viral in early 2016 In it Samaran claims violence is nurturance turned backwards and extrapolates the nuance of rape culture that pervades our lives in imperceptible ways Whether it is the weight of emotional labor performed by women femmes and nonbinary people movement building with masculine identified people working on cultivating empathy or navigating how to move forward from a culture of call outs and cancellations Samaran s essay is incredibly prescient to our world today where previously culturally mandated silences are being brokenWith the book release of Turn This World Inside Out Samaran expands on her viral essay to construct almost a manual a how touide to heal the dominant culture we live in and also show examples of how this work is being utilized by activists and individuals who are implementing nurturance culture in their daily lives Interspersed between essays on topical issues close to the cultural pulse in America and other Western cultures today such as On Gaslighting and apologizing for when harm does occur with Own Apologize Repair Coming Back to Integrity are dialogues conducted between Samaran and other activists who are trying to answer these uestions in their own work Presented as dialogues rather than interviews Samaran engages with the pitfalls of her work with the very people who are being affected by the implications of putting nurturance culture into practice As a cis white writer Samaran does not shy away from her own blind spots that could hinder the fullness of her argument for nurturance culture engaging with the blossoming complexity that arises when we try to take on these tangled power structures For example in the dialogue Turning Gender Inside Out Samaran speaks with Serena Bhandar a writer activist and educator who also happens to be transgender While The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture essay that starts the book focuses on men men who do not talk to one another about nurturance skillsthe codes of masculinity makes doing so frightening Bhandar addresses how transgender people are not explicitly centered in the work and converses with Samaran on how that can be corrected Bhandar states A lot of writing I have seen reduces violence to a cis male cis female dynamic where it is presented as though there is nothing beyond and nothing between Any arguments directed toward a trans audience are tacked on even though trans folks and trans women in particular face disproportionate and severe levels of violenceinstead transness should be built right into the argument from its conception especially since everybody has the potential to be transPutting transness at the center of our understanding of Led Astray gender makes apparent that cisness has also always been complicated Rather than defend her work as trans inclusive Samaran s response is refreshing in a world that often focuses on the shame that arises from being educated or corrected and the fear that comes up with being wrong Yes that makes sense Samaran responds I can see how the piece adds trans readers on as you have described rather than writing in a way that builds transness right into the fundamental way of thinking aboutender Samaran demonstrates in this dialogue a core piece of nurturance culture to disrupt the harm systems perpetuate against us it s imperative that we expand ourselves to listen to people analysis and arguments that result in empathy to transcend our own ego so that we can work to dismantle the systems in operation around us Ultimately Samaran acknowledges that the bulk of this work is often done by women femmes Black Indigenous and other feminists of color feminists who organize and theorize about these systems and doesn t present her work at the solution to these issues Rather Turn This World Inside Out is the uide for those who may resist and
Not Have Engaged With Thishave engaged with this before I truly appreciate how Samaran builds off the theoretical movements before her with utilization of attachment theory from psychology schools of thought ender studies critical race theory and postcolonial theory As we learn about power structures and oppressions inherent in those structures Turn This World Inside Out asks what kind of world can we create when we nurture each other rather than Western individualism that is fed by imperialism and capitalism focusing on who can be the best from the rest Rather than offering a one size fits all solution to care and accountability that distinguishes itself from call out and cancel culture Turn This World Inside Out acknowledges that
this work is something that is different for everyone but also necessary to conduct In the dialoguework is something that is different for everyone but also necessary to conduct In the dialogue Strength Through Movement and Afrofuturism with Ruby Smith Diaz Diaz states We often inhabit and replicate the toxic behaviors of the society and the state we live in We need to be able to understand what is happening to us and heal ourselves so we don t perpetuate those toxic behaviors and ways of being This is something that is happening on an unconscious level that takes conscious effort to unpack and correct With that said Samaran steps into academic and collouial language seamlessly in a way that makes complex theoretical ideas digestible for a wider audience outside of the academic spaces these theories initially originated in On Human Error gaslighting which despite the etymology of the phrase isn t about throwing a match on petroleum fuel Samaran writes Do you understand the depth of the harm of making someone uestion their sanity This is serious shitIt is poking a hole in someone s fundamental capacity to engage with realityOur capacity to know ourselves is powerful and power in people who are situated as abject is suashed at every turn for the very reason that it has the force to overturn injustice emphasis mine By acknowledging the very real harm in a normalized activity that is inherent in thousands of day to day interactions outside of opaue academic jargon Samara is truly working to engage the reader into nurturance culture and increase accessibility Ultimately Turn This World Inside Out is an imperative text for our modern times Samaran deftly demonstrates the need for this type of book throughout her essays and dialogues This slender tome will be sure to draw readers in for providing answers to the uestions people in positions of privilege have I only hope that it can live up to its title So yummy You know those friends whose book recommendations are always soood that you don t even bother reading the book jacket as long as the recommendation came from that person there are like 3 of you in my life btw Well this was one of those I Local Online Marketing got halfway through the intro before pausing and doing a little research on Nora Samaran In aood way In a holy shit who is this woman what are these ideas and why don t I know her kind of way Great read for its length I can t speak for how this would read to a male identified person who has no experience thinking or reflecting on these issues but as someone already familiar this book presented a lot of familiar topics in a clear succinct way that Les grands vaincus de l'histoire gave me a betterrasp on some things I understood but couldn t always put into perfect words Guilt is not the same *As Empathy Is The *empathy is the line that really stuck with me and I love itThe other insight that really struck me was in the dialogue surrounding trans issues and No 91 A Belfast Ghost Story gender when the interviewee pointed out that trans people aren t the only people who have a complicated relationship to their ownender most cis people do as well I think this insight. “Violence is nurturance turned backwards” writes Nora Samaran In Turn This World Inside Out she presents Nurturance Culture as the opposite of rape culture and suggests how alternative models of care and accountability―different from “call outs” which are often rooted in the politics of. .
Nora Samaran Õ 6 Free downloadOr self and compassion for others Emarketing Excellence: Planning and Optimizing your Digital Marketing grow together and are connected This means that men finding and recuperating the lost parts of themselves will heal everyone Chapter 3 Serena Bhandar s words When we say that only trans people transgressender identity then we do not permit room for cis people who feel shame about their Sound and Fury (Drake Chronicles, gender identity When we permit that violence against trans folks and create structures that permit that violence against trans folks we also permit that violence against cis folks who experience those kinds ofender policing It s not that we are all the same Instead we all have the potential to be similar to each other when we ascribe masculinity to a person we ascribe it as a stable definite attribute We don t recognize how it can break and change and be tossed aside Ch4 shame aversion is a powerful emotional logic that connects otherwise incoherent emotional manipulation switchbacks and logical incoherence The essence of Ecommerce Society gaslighting is this actively doing something to another person that uite expectedly leads them to feel feelings sadness hurt confusion fear and then telling them or implying that they are crazy to feel those feelings because you did not do the thing that you did in fact do In other words messing with your sense of reality and undermining your sanity by saying something is not happening when it absolutely is Evenood men don t really want women to trust themselves because that would ive back some of the power and control that patriarchy ives men Ch 5 Ruby Smith D az s words Afrofuturism do character sketches imagining a world without oppression We ask what it would look like if we were truly free and unafraid to be who we are What would you look like What would you wear What would your superpower abilities be and how would you use them to bring healing into the world reminds me of introduction uestion What would it look like to belong in the world as our whole selves use as a person socialized as a woman in this society I was taught that it s desirable to take up less space If we want a world that is different and that leaves behind all of the oppressive systems and values that we have we need to be able to heal ourselves because we embody so many of those oppressive values and systems and perpetuate them in our livesWe absorb and replicate consciously and subconsciously the toxicity of the environments in which we are living Angela Y Davis Freedom Is a Constant StruggleCh 6 Aravinda Ananda Shame is when a person feels they are inherently bad or have no worth Healthy remorse on the other hand is uite different it is when you acknowledge that you did something to hurt someone and because you don t want that harmful impact to continue you would like to not only apologize but also repair that harm and when that harm does Dead Man Stalking (The Morganville Vampires, get recognized suddenly someone is a bad person and disposable But you can t shame someone out of a shame aversion This fragility response may be caused both by internalized shame and also by the conditioning into supremacy that creates an inherent expectation of entitlement Countering both at the same time seems to help We like you we are notoing to shun you or turn away from you you belong and have inherent worth as a human being and also this action this ingrained entitlement and harmful behavior is not OK and needs to stop We will turn toward you connect with you and tell you no false identity that they are The Soul of the Matter good because of the label of white and therefore they can t let feedback in that their actions have a negative impact because it challenges that sense of self worth references Janet E Helms work There is a kind of deep visceral betrayal of human trust that can magnify harm significantly when those around you do not even perceive it occurring And yet that is precisely how normalized systemic violence works it renders the harm normal and all resistance to harm disruptive There is healing from what has happened in the past but there is also creating conditions in which the people around you can recognize continuing oppression happening in an ongoing way right now and say no This reuires setting up conditions of kindness and unconditional acceptance while also clearly establishing how actions that perpetuate systemic harm are not acceptable and need to stop Ch 7 Own Apologize ask for Repair name what you did apologize sincerely and lovingly and ask what the other person needs to make things right between us As a white woman I can do this with white people about racism or colonization because I am not paying the personal cost in my body of being attacked by them as they work out their shame anduilt over beginning to understand reality I can coddle and placate cough empathize and then find their edge what they are willing to hear and then offer a wider lens because I am not in my body personally bearing the brunt of the violence it is so taken for Queenie granted in our culture that those with marginal subjectivity will constantly placate those who are dominantWELCOME ACCOUNTABILITY Ask yourself who the people are you would want to hold you accountable if you behaved in an abusive way If you are the kind of person who likes to know when you have caused harm then there are some valuable uestions about how to make that real How do you invite this information How do you welcome it How do you thank those who help yourow this way if they have to tell you because you have not figured it out for yourself Do you realize just how scary it can
BE TO TELL YOU BEFORE THEYto tell you before they how you will react Do you confuse their fear of you for anger Is their fear in any way justified How can you make sure it is notIf your focus is on the fact that harm Stolen Hearts got named than it is on the harm itself does this strike you as peculiar Imagine replacinguilt with curiosity Imagine saying Wow it is so cool to recognize what I did I m
Excited I Can HearI can hear and 101 Ways To Get More Customers From The Internet (Online Marketing Guides from Exposure Ninja Book 3) grow I did this I did that here is why it is fucked up I m so excited to learn how to come back into integrity with you I m so happy I can do this that it is OK to fuck up and say sorry and learn together This owning warms my heart Own Completely Do not hide what you have done Then ask Have Iot you Do I understand and let the person clarify Mirror until you et it Give this the time that the person harmed feels is needed Say *Wow thank you for sharing that with me I know how hard it can be *thank you for sharing that with me I know how hard it can be share something like this I m really rateful you took that risk and I m taking it to heart Here is what I m Amazon Affiliate -The Ultimate Guide to Making Money on Amazon going to do concrete practical things to make sure Iet better about this in the future Does that address the need Ch8 We care about you and will not discard you and we also will not accept that you do this it cannot Online Marketing for Authors go on we will not allow it instead of having this false divide between supposedly unmanipulated land and urban space we can ask have we cared for the land in aood way If the answer is no then what is our responsibility to change our ways of caring for and stewarding the landCh9 Alix Johnson There is no cultural context for you in which people assume that they hold together and so you re carving out solidarities one by one relationship by relationshipthe place I start a transformative justice intervention is small scale I think Who are two people who are Google Advertising Fundamentals Exam Prep Guide for Adwords Certification going to show up for you Who are two people you can talk to about this I think about building from theround up rather than assuming support is already there because building trust one by one is where a lot of people and communities are starting from The idea that we have relational responsibility only to those humans we love and no responsibility toward anyone else is destroying the very fabric of human connection in Western societies I m not a coparent or an intimate partner or a best friend so I don t have stakes or a say in this When in fact we can often build trust and closeness and community by choosing to actively support survivors and actively interrupt violence and harm Not cutting ties permanently with someone who has caused harm but establishing what is and is not OK to do and saying as a community or as individuals These are my boundaries when you can respect them we will talk is it possible to hold someone else accountable or do they need to take accountability A We can t force change but we can create conditions of safety for survivors We can name harm and stop harmAnd I think that s something people figure out for themselves in practice and case by case how much you can engage directly with someone who s doing harm how much you stay and work with them through whatever resistance and at what point it may be unproductive or unsafe to do that Brilliant and a uick conversational read and a Spot 50 Butterflies Moths great conversation starter for people socialized as men like myself to reflect on how we are taught by society not to nurture the people in our lives nor even ourselves It s a book inspired by an essay called The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture The author of the essay and this book develops through transcripts of conversations related ideas and themes including masculine nurturance attachment style andaslighting. Nurturance that can begin to repair the harms inflicted by patriarchy white supremacy and capitalism Emerging out of insights in Gender Studies Race Theory and Psychology and influenced by contemporary social movements Turn This World Inside Out speaks to some of the most pressing issues of our ti.